Electric Cars and the Secret Neoliberal Energy Agenda

Society quantifies human greed in the convenient form of money; the larger your stack of money, the better a person you are. It is this greed that drives our economies and, at least indirectly, fuels nationalism, induces war (civil war being a very common result), and reserves our clear conscience when foreigners are slaughtered, usually by their neighbours, while they sleep in their homes. (Supposing, of course, their murderer grants them the decency of dying in a manner where they can be recognized after death -- usually only the case when the weapons used were not the hand-me-downs of a certain western country's inflated military budget.) At least, that is the truth as consistently demonstrated by the application of neoliberal fiscal policy over the past two decades in third-world nations.

These policies, which saturate the Washington-based international debt restructuring organizations, the IMF and World Bank, are popularly criticized. Opponents argue restructuring plans founded in neoliberal fiscal policy are inherently beneficial not to the indebted countries but rather to the multinational corporations whose financial investment in said countries is guaranteed to yield a return by the debt restructuring organizations. When a country finds itself in a desperate financial situation and is loaned $XX billion, through political bullying (and sometimes military intervention), the IMF and World Bank impose conditions the country must fulfil to receive all the money promised to them. (The money is paid in installments as conditions are satisfied.) This money, of course, comes from multinational corporations, run by the capitalist elite, who are promised by the World Bank a return on their investment in a short amount of time -- typically about five years.

Restructuring a country's financial system is an arduous, complex task -- one that cannot be done in five years by bureaucrats who have never set foot in the indebted country. So, naturally, these bureaucrats cum businessmen cheat. Not wanting to compromise a positive relationship with investors, these organizations imposed (using future loans as leverage) restructuring policies on third world countries under the pretense of "liberalizing trade" and "opening untapped markets". Naturally, when countries saw through the obvious facade and deception and refused certain load conditions, it was not uncommon for the IMF to circumvent national sovereignty to get their way. US-sponsored political coups are not uncommon, either.

Huge profits can be made by privatizing national industry, selling high-demand natural resources (at reduced costs, of course, to "jump start" the failing economy), and relieving the country of parasitic social welfare expenses. Never mind about investing in necessary infrastructure like proper sewage and water treatment, reliable electricity production and distribution, and roads.

I began writing this article with the intention of ironically parodying today's socio-economic conspiracy theorists (that clog up the interblag's series of tubes with outrageous, ill-informed theories denouncing the flawed capitalist system and central banking) by outlandishly accusing the neoliberal capitalist elite of intentionally backing electric cars in a cunning plan to render the future of transportation in the third world ruthlessly expensive, in a plot to further cripple impoverished economies so we may plunder their natural wealth.

The following italicized paragraphs are of the original parody. (I do not want the former of this article to become devalued in the reader's mind by the following, which is meant to be a humourous portrayal of how ludicrous some popular beliefs can be.)

(Like all conspiracy theories, this is read in a voice of absolute conviction.)

Electric cars are yet another example of the capitalist elite conspiring to undermine the well-being of developing countries in a plot to further plunder scarce natural resources. By concealing this agenda under the "global initiative" of "going green," these capitalist dogs are manipulating our news media to convince us the only reasonable alternative to Big Oil is Big Electron. Working together with the U.S. government, American taxpayers are subsidizing the research grants and tax breaks given to the companies owned by these privileged elite. Effectively, the American population is paying these supposedly free-market, capitalist corporations to develop a technology that will become the bane of developing countries for generations to come -- meanwhile, the exorbitant salaries of these privileged elite are paid with taxpayer's dollars.

To the west, Big Electron is the key to a "greener tomorrow"; however, little attention is paid to developing nations, where transportation infrastructure is essential for any chance of economic prosperity. If these capitalist elites get their way, developed nations will run on volts. The decrease in demand for oil will cause gasoline prices to rise considerably in the next couple decades, severely impacting less robust economies for whom electrical locomotion is not an option. Electric-powered vehicles with long range batteries and rapid recharging characteristics are a reasonable alternative for people living in developed nations, where the availability of electricity is taken for granted. Unfortunately, for most of the third world, the availability of sufficiently cheap electricity is uncommon -- less common still is a reliable supply of cheap electricity. Gasoline makes such a successful energy medium for the simple fact it is very portable and does not lose its energy potential even if stored for months at a time, such as when transported over large distances. (Conversely, electricity is not portable and is not cost-effective to transport over large distances.) High gas prices and no alternatives can cripple a developing nation's transportation infrastructure. Consequently, industries fail because product cannot be shipped in a cost-effective manner, and, no surprise, the economy quickly collapses.

Because tomorrow's alternative energy source is ultimately the decision of today's (western) capitalist consumer, it is in the interest of the capitalist elite to promote electric vehicles. The nature of technology is convergent -- the introduction of economy-priced electric cars will render conventional automobiles obsolete, effectively "locking-in" electric locomotion and Big Electron as the industry standard. If these privileged elite are able to convince westerners to invest in electric vehicles by exercising their influence on the mainstream media and manipulating politics, they will be in prime position to, in the near future, plunder the natural wealth of the resulting economically devastated nations.

It is a cunning plan, this. Disguising such a diabolical plot in such humble ambitions -- plotting the ruination of third-world economies through the momentum of the global "green revolution." And consider the reality of this situation: already the U.S. government is investing in the development of advanced batteries and charging systems; already the U.S. news media are touting the benefits of going electric. Even GM are being forced by the U.S. government, as part of their bailout conditions, to restructure and heavily invest in electric automotive propulsion systems! Already we are seeing a trend towards the warm, inviting phantom concealing the true nature of Big Electron. These capitalist pigs want electric-powered automobiles to become the standard. It will cause gasoline prices to skyrocket, devastating transportation infrastructure in the third world. The resulting economic conditions will force debt restructuring organizations into these ruined nations. As part of the inevitable loan conditions, these restructuring organizations will invite the plundering of natural resources. The rich will become richer, and the poor will become poorer. All in the name of greed.

(Stop using the voice of absolute conviction.)

Hm, I don't think I went far enough with this parody; it has not reached that threshold of irony. See, now, while I feel this "neoliberal electric car hidden agenda" theory of mine is completely absurd, if I were to cite sources and conjure up some numbers, it would exist within the realm of credibility. To be truly outrageous, I should accuse the capitalist elite of propagating the decline of the automotive industry through the manipulation of oil stock speculation. The only trouble with that is, given the nature of conspiracy theorists, as my theory becomes less credible, it only becomes more believable (by them). This exercise, therefore, while quite a bit of fun, is ultimately futile.

I should be clear: I conjured up this conspiracy theory mainly to poke fun at conspiracy theorists and people who believe them. The article was meant to be somewhat compelling while remaining entirely false for irony sake. Eh, I'll try again later.

To sum up this blog entry, I quote the great Clarksonius (c.400 BC),

"Every single one of the 247 billion facts on the Internet is wrong."